The Bridal Wave on The Washington Post

As part of The Washington Post's Wedding Week, we'll be doing a Q & A. Here are the details:


Tuesday, September 9, 2008; 1:00 PM

Are you dreading checking your mailbox for fear of finding another stack of save-the-date cards? Do you feel like Bridget Jones, sitting at the singles table in a world of Smug Marrieds? Erin Torneo and Valerie Cabrera Krause can relate. The authors of The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married-Years will be online Tuesday, September 9 at 1 p.m. ET to commiserate and to get you back in the mood to go shake your booty to We Are Family one more time.

Submit your questions and comments here.

Lost in Translation

The Bridal Wave's Russian cover:

Q & A: Should a Booted Bridesmaid Still Go to the Wedding?

I was recently (re: yesterday) kicked out of the bridal party for a friend of over 13 years. To keep a long story short, I have not been “enthusiastic enough, involved enough, or helpful enough” for her liking. I was told that all the other bridesmaids have been begging her for duties that they can do to assist her (by the way, they all live across the country), while I have not (also, I didn’t realize that I was supposed to help put together someone else’s wedding). To be honest, this whole wedding process has been a nightmare, especially since she used to be sweet and fun, but ever since she started planning this wedding, the crazy part took over her brain and she’s been insufferable ever since. After demoting me, she asked if I would still attend the wedding as a guest. I was flabbergasted and told her I’d have to call her back and let her know. After a long talk with my mother, we agreed I shouldn’t go, and I cancelled all my travel plans. My questions are: do I owe it to her to call her back and let her know; should I chalk up her behavior to Bridezilla syndrome and forgive and let it go and realize that she’ll be (hopefully) normal once the wedding is over; should I try to reconcile after the wedding; or is this a friendship I should write off? At this point, I’d be happy never speaking to her again.
Thank you for your help,
Stewing in Silverado

Dear S.I.S.: Forgive the bad wordplay, but is your friend in an "altared" state, or has she always been sort of a pain in the butt? Think about it this way: do you feel relief at the thought of her not being in your life? If so, you've canceled your plans, so do let her know you won't be attending and then consider yourself liberated. Take the $100 you would have spent on her gift and treat yourself. If you think you are going to regret this down the line, see if you can reinstate your travel plans and explain that you'll be attending as a guest and are happy to do so. (Just stick clear of being too close to her during this period.) If it's too late to reinstate, then simply call her and have a heart-to-heart, (baring in mind that she's still temporarily insane). Tell her you were upset and canceled your travel plans but you value her friendship and hope in time, you will both get past this. A good friend will forgive you and realize the error of her ways once the tulle is packed away. And read Ch. 2 "Lobridemized!" for more insight into women under the influence.

20-Somethings and the Cash Crunch

US News & World Report's new issue features a "Money Guide for 20-Somethings", a series of articles on dealing with debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and yes, how to attend wedding after wedding when you are strapped for cash.

Affianced couples cross their fingers for continued global warming

I have been terrible about blogging recently, but saw this article,"A Bouquet and a Space Heater" by Kathryn Shattuck in today's NYT style section and had to comment.

A cynic might say that engaged couples are able to make everything about themselves, even global warming.

Alison Evans and her fiancé, Aaron Davis, are to marry next Saturday on Kent Island, Md., in the Chesapeake Bay. The ceremony is to be held “indoors, if it’s colder than 70 degrees, and outdoors if it’s warmer,” Ms. Evans said. “With global warming, you know you have a good chance.”

And of course, the wedding industrial complex feels just terrible and hates to say it, but hey, for them global warming ain't all bad.

“The weather has been a lot more cooperative,” said Kelly Melius, president and director of sales and marketing for the estate....“I almost hate to say it,” Ms. Melius said, sighing. “The weather may be bad for the environment, but it’s very good for business.”

Classic.