The Great Bouquet-Off

VS.

A tacky tale for VD (what my brilliant friend, Paddy, calls Valentine's Day)

Not so long ago, in a land not that far away, ok, at the ad agency where I used to work, V-day in my office was all about what I called, "the bouquet-off": which girl got the best/largest/most flowers. Flowers were held at the side entrance and all day long girls made lame jokes about how those gorgeous long stems had to be for them, "are you sure my name isn't on the card?" For many, the joke was one of those half-serious things, where you hope that the receptionist would say, "as a matter of fact, they are."

Now, I am not one for flowers, in fact I have specifically told Tommy not to get my flowers because I think that cutting something down in the prime of its life is sort of depressing, giving it as a gift, even worse. (Though a friend's recent gift of cut tulips did make my day...) Anyway, i am getting sidetracked.

The competition was unspoken, but I can tell you that I was very vocal when my then-boyfriend took me at my word and didn't give me any flowers.....nothing. I was so psyched to have a boyfriend for once and I was beyond bummed to not get that call from reception. We got into a fight that night.

That I am married to him today, while the girl who got 3 dozen long-stemmed beauties is still single, is a testament to the fact that we should not got too caught up in number of stems in our vase. I was sucked into the materialism of a Hallmark holiday and acted like a spoiled brat.



For years we see commercials for Zales and Kay, telling us that love means little black boxes. Unrealistic expectations of romantic gestures set many couples up for a V-Day fight. Not exactly what Cupid intended.

Of course, V-Day is another reminder to singles that they are nobody's valentine. In our book we talk about Bridal Wave Danger Zones and how to respond when your mother calls to ask how you are fairing, all alone on yet another Valentine's Day. Also, with the holidays being the time with the most engagements, many women are still reeling from a slew of their friends I've Got Big News engagement calls when, before they know it, they are hit with another round of calls, the V-day engagements.

My advice for singles, go ahead and feel bummed for yourself if you are so inclined. If there is any one day to wallow, Valentine's Day is it. Just keep it to today though. A pity party can be just what the doctor ordered, but don't let your bad mood be the guest who you can't get to leave.