Q&A: Bridesmaid pushed to the brink

Dear E&V: I'll save the angsty, existential "why her and not me?"- ness for another time, but I have an etiquette-type question today.

My friend is being married soon, one of 9 weddings of my friends this year, and there are five bridesmaids, and we all live in the same city. The problem is that the bride is only involving the maid of honor in any decisions - the dresses, the shower, the hairstyles, etc. The coup de grace is that the rest of us just got a long "itinerary" for the bridal shower from the maid of honor, ostensibly given by all of us, and every tiny detail has already been planned in ten minute increments.

The unflattering hot pink dress was bad enough, but I'm particularly mad about this. Should I address it with my friend, who is deep in Bridezilla mode, the maid of honor who is sure to rat on me to the bride, or just ignore it and be happy that I didn't have to spend hours cooing over scented candle party favors?- Not Pretty in Pink

Dear NPIP- Sounds to us like you dodged a bullet. How glad are you that you aren't the maid of honor? Personally I would rather rock a heinous dress for 6 hours than spend months planning a Lobridemy's big day.

Voicing your annoyance is out of the question. You agreed to be in the wedding party and once you did that, you signed away your right to bitch....at least to anyone else in the party, who will surely rat you out. Find a friend outside the invite list and complain away.