Q & A: The Shower Struggle

Dear E&V: I'm in the Bridal Wave right now and already got four save-the-dates for this summer. But just yesterday, I got something I've never gotten before: a bridal shower invitation. I'll go to my friend's wedding and buy her a nice present (even though she's a lawyer marrying an investment banker and I'm still in graduate school), but do I really have to go to her shower, too?--Shower-Resistant Sista

Dear SRS: First of all, we can't believe you've been spared the shower agony before! Lucky girl. Here's the thing: you don't *have* to do anything. If the shower requires you to travel an hour or more, and she's not a particularly close friend, it's perfectly acceptable to decline the invitation. The good news: you don't have to bring a present or buy her one if you're not going. If she is a close friend and the shower is close-by, you better have a full-proof excuse for the weekend (might you have forgotten that it's your Grandmother's 90th birthday party? You can't disappoint Grams!), or else it might be wise to grin and bear it. In that case, check out Ch. 3 "Navigating Wedding Season" for tips on getting through it.