Monday, May 28, 2007

The Annals of Being a Bridesmaid #8

We called this one "Twisted Sister."
Three years ago my YOUNGER sister got married.

But the story begins about ten months before that when I became engaged to my guy. About six weeks later, my sister announced her engagement. We are thirteen months apart – so growing up the competition was fierce to say the least. As we planned our weddings, if I said black she said white – typical of our relationship. She set her date for two months after my date, which made me fear that family and friends would have to make “Sophie’s Choice” about which wedding to attend. We did agree to be each other’s maids of honor and have no other bridal attendants.

Six weeks before my wedding, my fiancé backed out with cold feet. Heart wrenching, humiliating and devastating for me. I was living in Florida at the time. Within two weeks, I quit my job, sold my house and moved back to the ole homestead in New York. The aftermath was terrible, but I managed to find a job and have some place to go everyday so I would stay alive and figure out how to heal. In the meantime, my sister’s wedding plans were full steam ahead – in fact, she had gone back on her word and asked a friend to be a bridesmaid months before without telling me. I found out about the additional bridesmaid three weeks before her wedding. It was at this time that I was beginning to have grave doubts as to whether I would be able to walk down the aisle. What would people think? Could I even physically do it? The dread was consuming.

I’m not sure whether it was an act of charity or compassion, but she relieved me of my maid of honor duties. I attended the ceremony only, taking three valium and my high school prom date (so I wouldn't look totally pathetic.) I had still planned to be plus one to the reception – after all, if I had been married, my husband would have been attending with me. But with the collapse of my engagement, my sister had assumed I’d be stag. She berated me for wanting to bring someone when their numbers were already so high – so I opted out of the reception. So much for her compassion.

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