Marriage is Murder

I still haven't seen Court TV's new show "'Til Death Do Us Part," about real life couples who get married and vow love and honor and all that. The hitch is that one of the happily wedded duo will end up killing the other one. But I loved Rebecca Mead's Talk of the Town piece on John Waters, who hosts the show as the narrator/Groom Reaper. Among the fun facts I learned:

1. John Waters is a Universal Life Minister who officiates weddings for the fee of $7.

2. Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were thisclose to getting hitched.

I was thisclose once to introducing my dad to John Waters, back when I was covering the Ft. Lauderdale Film Festival. Dad & Mom had come to visit one of my brothers, who was living in Florida then, and it happened to coincide with my press trip. My dad had no idea who John Waters was, but I'm sure if the elevator had come just a moment later, it would have been very memorable.

John Waters' thoughts on marriage, as discussed in this week's New Yorker:
“This is a pro-divorce show,” Waters explained. “The viewer might have wanted to kill his wife right before this show, because who hasn’t? That’s why I am single. Someone thought up an ad campaign for the show—‘Stay single and stay alive’—which I love...I always thought the privilege of being gay is that we don’t have to get married or go in the Army,” he said. “I personally have no desire to imitate a fairly corny, expensive heterosexual tradition, though I certainly know gay couples who are married who should be. I am all for it. I have always joked that the growth industries are gay divorce and tattoo removal.”

In spite of his occasional willingness to play the ministerial role, Waters says that he hates going to weddings. “I am hoping that one of the best things that will happen if this show is a success is that people will stop inviting me,” he said. “Weddings are never fun. You cannot have that much fun with your friends and your family all together, spending that much money."